SO FUCKING PISSED AND BORED!!!!

yea right now not in the best of moods in tired, cranky, fucking starving, bored out of my god damed mind and to fucking make shit worse my head is pounding! my body is sore from going to work with my mom and working out for six dam hours!!! my head has been pounding all day my dad stepped on my hard work! my art project my pride and joy! and he said sorry but he was laughing like it was fine! no fucking way i spend all my time on that dam thing and its not even done and he steps on it!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!?????? then expects me to be all fine abt it. fuck no. then i did my chores fell asleep and went to work and i havent eaten since 1:30 im so hungry i could cry but i cnt bring my self to eat everything makes me feel like getting sick. NO IM NOT PREGNANT for all u asswholes who are thinking that right now. trust me im sure. i just want to rip some ones head off right now. and so b it if i yell at some one i love i dont giv a shit! so fuck off!!!!

its been a while...

its been a very long time since i've blogged and things have been like a seesaw....i've got a job now working at vita bella pizza the suckish thing is that my manager mike changed the scheduel and now im fucked and have to work saturdays...but my dads gonna talk to him.... im also getting a new phone...the rumor!!! im so excited the shitty thing is that it wnt be here till sunday!! i and i was told we'd get it friday...im not a happy camper....then theres my lovely boyfriend chris who at the moment is on very thin ice.....i love that dam boy to death but sometimes he can be a real idiot...im just really stressed right now and im seriously tired of shit....and the fact that all these people im so how linked too are getting pregnant....first my boyfriend's retarted cousin at that oh so wonderfully stupid age of 16 decide with his 14 year old girlfriend that it would be a good idea to have a baby together that way their love would never die.....this is why kids should not watch disney movies.....any who the parents found out and now they;re going to see if she really is pregnant. what a lovely story eh? just warms the heart hearing that shit....next one one the list is an old friend of mine who has never been well smart... she is 17 maybe 18 her boyfriend is 44.... i know what ur thinking....eww.... but the guy is worth over 3 million dollars. so maybe not a bad trade off.... but to make mattes worse she thinks shes pregnant....HURRAY FOR THE WORLD FULL OF COMPLETE FUCKING MORONS!!! oi... i swear...if i could stay 17 for the rest of my life im not sure what i'd do.....hell i dont want a life like shit alwas having to pay bills but im sure as hell not gonna stay under the thumb of my rents...no sir i want to live on my own but live my way....which i hear that if u do ur looked upon like shit on the bottom of ur shoe.....but watever i'm just done.....

Dnt look now.... Freshman!!!

omg y must freshman b so stupid? my mom hates it when i say this but i dnt care they r..i was that stupid once but still it gets really annoying....my classes r ok but one of them im the only SR. with the stupid freshies....so yea not a happy camper...but i've no one not a soul...its hard im used to having all my friends but now theres not a person who likes me (except mayb RIn and shes only in one class) i look cute to day tho and Bear picked me up so yea...if ur confused Bear is another name for my christopher....so yea....me and him had some rough patches but nothing too bad..i thought he was cheating on me for a while but i was proved wrong....which for once i was glad to be proven wrong...this is where i draw the line...if anyone goes after my Bear and i will kill u...try me if u dnt think i will....but now that im in one school and hes in another i worry...im sure he does too...but theres no issuse there...im not a whore...!! sry inside joke anywho that about it me and ryan r going to do something to day so yea i love u Bear dnt forget that!!
ttyl
~Kitty

well its been fun

so for the past few days i've been looking for jobs driving my bf around ever where blah blah blah...but im just tired..i had to get a physical to day....it sucked kinda...then i drove chris to jjc and did some stuff while waiting 4 him, but im not happy with his mother...this lady i tell ya...and chris i love u dearly but i dnt give a crap about wat im about to say and who it offends; i offered chris a ride to jjc cuz his car broke down....not one thank u from his rents..not one. then i hear the chris' mom wanted him to take the compass test the same day...like im a limo driver and am getting paid for gas...or the fact that i dnt have my own things to do...she doesnt ask me..or my rents..my mom had to pick up my aunt and take her home but both my mom and (just out of a car crash) aunt said i could take him but they needed the car to get back home...so i was to bring it bac to them asap. and now this lady wants me to wait for how many hours cuz shes too lazy to bring her own son to the college!then yells at him cuz i refused to stay and wait! so no thank u, then fucking expects me and my family to be hindered! omg i wanted to scream...and i felt bad for chris cuz hes the one getting yelled at...my rents would never expect someone to wait for me a few extra hours to take a test that i already fricking took! and then not tell the persons rents! come on!!! wat is that?! and chris like i said im sry if this offends u but give me a break...ur mom is ridiculous....i g2g things to do ttyl

LUCY IM HOME!!!!!!

thats right ladys and gents im home!!! just got bac from EIU!!! and let me tell u it was a blast!!!!! i didnt want to come home altho id did miss christopher.....i had the best time...i got to watch gods play badminton and i got to improve my skill..i made somany new friends and i got to be on my own for a week!!!!.....my room mate, Jen was the coolest and then Ausreen i hope im spelling that right was cool too! we had the best time and i gave my bf the black death!!! hes the cutest germ ever!!!! and im not going to explain...cuz i've done it 50 million times....now im home a i get to spend time with heather and rin and chris.... and whoever else wants to hang im gonna go cuz im tired ttyl

im bac...for now

so i've been gone 4 a while...up in the MI. we had so much fun me and chris...i whish rin could have been there too. jakes girlfriend is the biggest bulldog i've ever met. she mean...she loves to push people around and get wat she wants im surprised jake puts up with her...but and ways its was fun and chris went skiing and we got to shoot our bow and arrows!!! and soon i'll be leaving to go to EIU for badminton camp which will be fun but im nervous... i hopefully will get to spend time with rin before i go! i miss talking to her...christopher will be going to WI tomoro..wich sucks cuz i wnt see him till sunday and not this sunday next sunday. i miss him already....crap i g2g and i just learned the we might not get shit for x-mas and got to florida...g2g ttyl

my bologna has a second name its M A Y E R...

im going to blog today cuz im bored and im singing the oscar mayer weener song.....so fuck the rest of u hot dog fans! tomoro will be awsome cuz im bleaching my hair!!!! and then gonna turn it blue!!! it will just b a strip but still blue!!!!! im leving for MI too on friday!! very excited cuz my baby will be going with me!!! and then i get to dye his hair! so yay!!! and we'll be up there for 8 days very exciting...and Rin will becomming over too! she went to the water park today and left me to entertain my bf and and brian. whos not a bad guy.....i kicked both their asses in air hockey!!! with a bad shoulder! old badminton injury...i wnt bore u with my scars....but Mi is going to be very odd....my ex-bf's fam is going to b up their and he's bringing up his boring ass gf....who wanted my to share a tent with her outside when i have a nice cozy bunk in the house! not gonna happen! and yea total chaos....but watever i will go on with my awsome blue hair and even better bf. i wish rin could be up their with me too...but she'll go up later.....but i want to rp so im gonna go........ttyl!

well this is kinda unplanned

so yea havent been on in a very long time...and lets just say theres too much to say about what happened....but i will highlight....went to camp it was fun got to play badminton and get huge bruses....i fell.... then went to my cousins b-day party and brought hom a brand new scar...i jumped for a marker...o nvm u wnt understand......then my mom my sisters my brother rin and i went to great wolf loge and that was fun we saw a hot emo lifeguard there we called him jess and followed him around...i got pics of him on rins phone! chris knows i love him to death and i want him so badly so im sry if this upsets u baby but u know that i cant have anyone else...chris didnt have as much fun and we fought alot...to the point i wanted to cry but we made up its was ok...then yesterday was chris' graduation party...i was very pissy...i wanted only chris and then i lightned up but brian was being a total poopie head....hes jelous of jess and justin (who could not keep their hands off each other they were worse than me and chris) and me and chris...i feel bad cuz everyone seems jelous of me and chris.....i guess i got lucky to have found someone like my teddy bear.....but any who thats kinda how it ended....july will be super crazy..most of the month i will be in MI or at EIU. im excited but i want my teddy bear with me ....it sucks that he cant go....... but yea my lunch is ready so im gonna go the pic is of jess!!

my rollercoaster of a life

so the week has been that of ups and downs ... i've been extremely happy and super upset..but wat can u do? wednesday and friday were the greatest but thrusday sucked...i got yelled at and made fun of...my mood just went south which is never good for anyone...but since most of u all ready know this i'll recap what happened yesterday. so my dad and brother went out to a job and mom decided that it would be fun to have a girls day out...it was hell! first we got out nails done...but i got a pedicure instead..i needed it...then my mom forced me to get my eyebrows waxed! it fucking hurt!!! i was ready to puych the lady in the face! but i didnt mutter a sound! i didnt sceam or cry...i just sat there white knuckled.....oh was i pissed!i never want to do that again...i'd rather have bushy eye brows then go thro that again!then we went to lunch and then chris pool which my mom yelled at me again cuz when i saw chris i ran up to him and jumped to wrap my legs round him..but my mom said that as long as an adult wasnt around we could do that...she knows that we do stuff when rents arent around...my dad on ther other hand wants me to stay an angel...which has no chance of happening now...anywho then we (as in my family) went to dinner and got some movies to watch...me and alora watched becomming jane which was really sad..but good...then me and chris role played untill midnight..so that was fun..but yea thats how it goes..tomorrow im starting badminton camp which will suck but watever....ttyl!

zip-pa-di-do-da...zip-pa-di-day....

my oh my wat a wonderfull day.....well im in the best mood ever nothing can bring me down! i had a best day ever yesterday. but i cant tell u why alotho Rin probably can guess what.but wat ever im happy! but it seems that when ever something good happens to me my family has turned into demons who wish to destroy my happiness. the moeped my rents bourght not 2 days ago was broken. the scooter fell over and the mirror cracked off. so my dad was livid. but things worked out its not that expenseve to fix but for some reason he would not let it go and he wouldnt drive me to work cuz i wasnt home earlier. he kept saying y werent u home earlier? its not my problem. i was like i have to go! hes such a moron. it pissed me off yesterday but i was still happy as hell. plus my mom let me and chris go out after work! which rocked! and today will be fun cuz i get to see Rin. whcih i havent seen in a while but thats cuz schools out. my mom wants me to get a job at the library. but i dnt mind it hink that will be fun. i'd get in trouble tho...seeing as how i love to read and im surrounded by books! but yea idk. so much stuff to do...so little summer. but yea thats was alli wanted to say was that im very happy and i love my bf to death.....i know hes the one im going to spend the rest of my life with...ttyl

school is done....the sumer of hell is going to start...

well today was the last day of school i didnt go tho. my mom was being super annal about it too. she nearly made me go cuz i didnt email me teachers about wat we were doing today. which was the dumbest thing i've ever heard of. we been done with finals and i was like noway! but to stay home i had to clean and do stuff for my mom. i want to do somthing with chris but i dnt know wat. and i dnt know if my rents will let me do anything. tonights my sisters b-day too which is just great i have to be nice to her even tho shes the biggest shit head alive. yesterday i was on the comp doing crap and she walks in an demans i get off so she can be on, when i told her to buzz off she sat there and tried to annoy me by screwing with the chair i was sittig on. till finally i was like fine go fucking do what u want! i get comphy watching tv when she walks into the room 5 min later and sits down. i was like arent u supposed to be on the comp? she was like im done. i nearly killed her! she kicked me off when i was doing something so she could do something for 5 mins! i was so pissed off! then my rents wont leave me or chris alone! "u dress like a freak, he cant go to MI, hes not part of the family, u need to be more resonsible, y are u so weird?..." its like leave me the fuck alone! im happy with who i am so bugg off! piss me off so fricken much. now not all of the recent news is bad me and chris have been great....Rin u can shut up....he loves me and i've never wanted anyone more in my entire life. so yea..im sry rin that ur single theres not much i can do for u....ttyl

help me!

so finals are tomorrow im freaking out the 1st three should be ok but im worried about the 2nd three. if i dnt pass my a2 final i'l be screwed! but im excited cuz schools almost over. me and chris had a fight to day and he almost got hit by a car but everythings cool he's getting me the full version of dressed to kill! by eddie izzard! im so excited! o with this post i fill my quota! im just random and hyper right now and i have to go to bed so ttyl k?

confusion to the extreme.....

so my weekend has been hell for a number of reasons
1. its been so crazy. friday/satday i hung out with rin and went to B&N then went to a party with christopher till midnight. sunday i was uplate from going to my uncles and writing a ton of my story (which isnt very good) and then monday going to a graduation party and then seeing indianna jones.
2. my parents think im a transsexual....and that im going to get a sex change.. crazy but true. and i've gotten yelled at for it too. see when i got my hair chopped off it was cute and short now its gotten shaggy and i love it but i look like a boy to the point where this guy at my uncle's asked my dad how old his son was...he was talking about me. and then my parents thought or still think im embarrssed of being a girl. which im not im totally fine with being female i just like looking and dressing like a guy. its way more comfortable. then they brought chris into the problem..my mom even said to me that if she were my boyfriend she'd be embarrsed of me. christopher loves me..he even likes it when i look like a boy. and i muyst say im a much cuter boy than a pretty girl. then they even talked about Rin..why cant u dress like her. why dont u put ribbons im ur hair? she looks cute. well im just tired of being made fun of for who i am. and i was really hurt when my parents asked when i was going to ask for a sex change. it just really hurt that they are treating me like this like there is something wrong with my androgny (sp?) im fine with who i am but i dont deserve to be treated like crap cuz i look like a boy. chris has told me that i should ignore them but i cant they're my family that has always ment a lot to me and now that im being different they hurt me. i nearly broke into tears but chris was there and he helped me threw this. im was confused too...cuz i know if i had been born a guy i would have been gay. and i wasnt sure who i was anymore. but now i know and im not changing for anyone but me. no one will tel me who i am or wat i can be. but i g2g i want to write my story ttyl...hopfully i'll get therw this in one piece.

"I DONT KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT!!!"

So yea i keep getting yelled at no matter wat i do.y? i dont know but i got yealled at for the garage door not being down cuz my brother didnt put it up. i got yelled at cuz i was talking in the car with chris and i missed my moms phone call and she called me a sleeze. then i got yelled at cuz the dog ate a flower cuz i left it on the drive way. o heres a good one i called my moms cell and left a message saying i need somehting form the store. and she called me bac and said i'd be happy to go get it for u..then yelled at me when she came home with out it! so yea not too happy with people right now. well today ws fun me and Rin went to B&N and read a ton of books...well i did anyway. i finished the up to the current Absolute Boyfriend and S.A. and a new series called Kieli whcih when i saw it looked like my name..but its a great book. one of the main characters is really cute. anywho somehting strange happened today too..we were reading by the cafe and it was totally empty and these 2 guys sat right next to us! and we knew they were watching us...or well more i Rin i should think...(shes the prettier of us 2) and i confirmed they were watching us when i leaned bac and one of them stoped talking in the middle of his sentence and in the corner of my eye i saw him lean over...then go bac to talking..it was so creepy.. Rin over heard their conversation somewat they were talking about some girl...one asking the other if she was "unique" guys they can be so stupid...but yea weird. so tonight i might go to a party by chris' house...which will suck cuz i just want him not some stupid party..but yea that should suck. tomorrow im going to my uncles and monday im going to a graduation party for my ex-boyfriend...talk about awkward cuz im bring chris along....o joy..whish me luck. i g2g ttyl

p.s. i think i will write my story...just cuz i can.....

the crazed, dazed, and totally stupid.

im so stressed out i've got finals next week 15 projects i have to finish and to top that off its my time of the month so dont piss me off. tomorrow friday and im not happy. my sr. boyfriend wont be there at all he gets out early and thats not cool. im so tired..of every body except him and rin. the sr. pranks were today and i nearly died cuz i almost was ran over when people were trying to see what the pranks were. it was so stupid yet funny. idk..this week end will be as crazy as ever and since i've been walking around in a fog theres no telling what will happen i know that sunday im going to my uncles for a bbq and monday im going to my ex-boyfriends graduation party with christopher. so that will be awkward. but i dont care i want him with me. so there! i dont know wat im doing sat. but i want to do something with Rin but i dont know if she wants to see me seeing as how she kinda just shut down the alien from another planet who is totally in love with her. but hes weird and dosent know wat hes doing. ryans being so stupid. for this bondfire thing ryan wants to do something stupid and ruin a good song. but wat ever i will laugh in his face and not care if he gets upset cuz im still in a very delicate situation with him...cuz one moment i can tolerate him and the next i want to tear his guts out. so yea im not very nice, but things have been just so blah. zachs had his heart broken. ryan has been rumored to have gotten his gf pregnant (untrue) brians an alien, RIn cant find love and is freaking out over gopher, chirs is haveing trouble with his rents, everybody has senoiritis. and im here crazed, dazed and stupid.....wat is a girl to do?.......

lets see what i missed....

ok so my last post was kinda rushed at the end but i had to clean. so anyways did i leave off with me and chistopher going back to the mall?o well thats were i'll start..so we were at the mall and just hanging around and some how he ended up getting me a really pretty tiedie skirt and a jack skelinton belt. so hes awsome!! i wanted to pay him bac but hes a stubborn cutie... then we went home and he helped me with my home work..wat a guy huh? im so lucky to have him....then he went home...so the next day me and Rin were dragged off to my sisters softball tourney..whcih sucked cuz it was cold but i watched across the universe. so that way fun..then i went home and did chores nearly burning my brain cells cuz i had to clean the bathroom and thoes fumes were strong... then the love of my life came over for about 30 mins cuz i was upset that i didnt get to see him..i know im hopeless..so sue me...then i went to bed..got up the next morning and here i am..but since im here i'll go on..so today started off ok.. everything fine and dandy i didnt have to work and i could just go to the badminton dinner and come home...i was totally wrong...first my mom had a really bad headache...so she couldnt take my shift at work..so i drove to work and did that..which made me super late for the dinner so i flew there..but this was after i found out that my phone had no min. on it so i was screwed there..then i ate dinner talked w/ rin and flew home to get cash to get min. before my dad got home..and i did this all in a hour. so i rocked but the saturn (my car) has like no gas in it and i was freaking out the entire way. then christopher won free tickets to go see death note tomorrow night in batavia. and i really wanted to go but i have 3 papers due this week and i knew that christophers last band concert is on wednesday so i'd have a hard time getting it done then too so i went home right after getting my min and wrote 2 of the 3 papers...and the last on only has 1/3 to go and im done...so i rock...hopefully i can go to both cuz its christophers last concert for high school and i would be the worst gf ever if i didnt go...so yea im trying to work things out. but im not sure how it will work cuz i've got work that night and im not sure if i'll have the car...but come hell or high water i'll find some way to go....then the rest of this week is really up in the air...so yea thats about all i have to say...ttyl

the weekend update

so i havent blogged in a while but thats ok cuz now if have a lot to talk about. so friday at first me and christopher were going to see a movie but that was shot down by my parents cuz they were like "u see him all the time" which i do but i dont care i love him. but insetad me and Rin went to the mall while christopher hung out with his buddies...me and Rin had an awsome time we went to hot topic and funky breeze etc. but when we frist got to hot topic guess who we happend to hear? Ryan's loudass vioce. it was Ryan, Christopher and Zach. me and Rin were like holy shit!! we cant let them see us! so we some how got out without them seeing us... which was funny cuz we were totally not hard to see. i mean we were loud. and we were running not that hard to see but they never did so we got out of that one and went to funky breeze well guess what trio followed us there?! yea and we still managed to get out! they never knew we were there. it was so funny!!! then we went back to rin's house and made a fire.. which was more made by me cuz rin doesnt know how to..and we ate smores..whci was really fun..then the next day me and my mom went to a badminton tournoment at willowbrook high school..was got our asses kicked...these people were monsters at badminotn.....just killers. i was so fun to watch but we got spanked. then we came home and i got ready to got out with christopher who was upset at me at the time cuz he was having a shitty time with zach and ryan and was upset than i didnt say hi to him.... which was so stupid but watever thats done with. so then me and chris went bac to the mall cuz we had nothing to do and then came home and he helped me with my hmwrk. crap..g2g ttyl write later!

the power behind the scenes....

well today has so far been a day of high ups and low downs....my aunt had a seziure and got into a car crash so if thats y u were wondering why i so depressed today its cuz of that..plus im worried abiut my mom cuz shes really uspet over this..i dont blame her. i felt really weird cuz i wanted to break down and cry my eyes out but i pretended to be happy all day except in gym where i kept having to wipe away stray tears so wala wont see them. chirs was te only one i told cuz i hate when people feel sorry for me when im not the one whos even hurt....and i was weak too...im like a cutter but in a different way i tear skin off my firnger and sometimes the bottom of my feet if im really upset..well if u were to look at my feet now u'd see a torn up mess of skin. i know not the best way to handle things and i;ve been trying to stop...its hard tho. then later today i heard that my best friend and a guy she likes are dating..now if there bf/ gf has yet to be seen but im sure that things will more than likely go the way that is best. so i'll be dealing with people for a while. but in a good way im a major power player in my circle of friends so yea i rock and i feel so relieved...and i love u my christopher....i cant wait till we're older =p but yea i g2g get ready for work! so if i have time i'll write later..!!

oh the horror......

well my my i am in such a state of distress..well not really my friends are tho. first to the fun sutff...christopher had his b-day party thing which was really fun cuz i drove there by myself!!! i've only driven once on my own before then and it was coool!! i didnt die! then we played pool but i suck..we had loads of fun and i've never been more nervous in my entire life around his family...i never seem to fit in...u see my family is way bigger and more rough and much more noisey...we'e irish....so we're crazy his family...is quite, very traditional the women scrap book and do crafts...the boys play sports are goof balls and are well boys...then theres me...i was never raised to be soft spoken, artistic, or "fluffy" im going to have family-in-laws like my mother did...we will challenge their ways and they will not be very happy with us...so am i glad that i have christopher? of course i cant imagine a life with out him but me and his family may not mix....he'll fit right in in our family but thats cuz we're a bunch of wack-jobs any way.....*sighes* well the next problem that im faced with is Rin...o dreay me what am i going to do about her... shes really likes this guy, who we call Retard Man, but hes a total ass. then she has brian whos alittle geeky but still really likes her. she feels like shes screwed up her chance with R.M. when really i know better...cuz he did the same dam thing to me..yes Rin when u read this u'll want to shoot him in the chest i know..but when we were in grade school me and R.M. beat the snot out of each other..more him than me... i liked him and it seemed like he liked me..i called him asked him to hand out blah blah blah..then one day i walked out of an after school activity and saw him with an other girl who was younger than i was...what i found out later was that they were going out........that jerk ball lead me on and still had my heart on a string...i felt hopeless i hated him for it but never truly gave up the hope that he would come to his senses and "pick me" look where i am now..im totally in love with the boy of my dreams and i've never been happier..so rin dont over upset ur self on a guy like kurt hes not worth it...now thats about all i have to say for now if i feel like saying more i'll write another post..ttyl

One of the best days of my life...

so yesterday was totally awsome...
i had school and that was boring but besides that i got to spend the entire day with my christopher..! when we first got to his house his dad asked us to pick up the living room for mothers day which we did and in that process i pinned chris (we were werstling ) for at least ten seconds...and he never got a chance to pin me down he says hes going to one of these days but that wont ever happen...lol....then we baked our cake but had to leave the house cuz his parents went to his brothers concert...we have a ton of fun in that time and then we went to jewel for more frosting. came bac and frosted the cake! then we spent the rest of the time hanging out and eating dinner then we got to eat our cake!! it was so good! i suck at cooking but it turned out ok!!! probably cuz chirs was there to help me...but watever...then i cam home and crashed..it was so much fun!! i love u teddy bear and i cant wait for sunday!!! ttyl!

why does no body comment?

u know im always commenting but i havent gotten a comment for the last 4 blogs...wat is this?!?! am i chop liver to u people!!! ur the reason i listen to music like across the universe...stupid non-leaving comment haters....well my icon says all! ....so there....bye!!!

today was interesting...

well today was ok not great but i got to have fun so thats all that matters. so after school me and my group for adv.chal. got to work which reminds me that i have to get that done too...then me and rin hung out. it was fun cuz we havent talked in like for ever. we played 2 games of pool and i lost both...so yea i suck at pool anywho...i got home and did home work and got yelled at so that was loads of fun..not!!! tomorrow i get to go to christophers house and make a cake!!! so im excited! then saturday im hanging out with zach who i also havent seen in like for ever. so im quite happy...but im not feeling too well and it sucks im just thinking i have a slight cold. but watever. i g2g and do stuff so ttyl!

HAPPY BRITH DAY CHRISTOPHER!!!!

HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY FROM ALL OF US ...(well me)..TO U WE WISH IT WAS OUR BIRTHDAY SO WE COULD PARTY TOO!!! I LOVE U!!! MY TEDDY BEAR IS 18!! I LOVES U!!! TODAY U R THE KING!!! AND I HOPE TODAY WAS SPECIAL EVEN IF IT DIDNT GO SO WELL!!! I LOVE U!!! TTYL!
~KITTY

i cant think of a title..so NEH!

So ever since my last post things have been nuts...like me and chris got into a fight my rents have been really tweaking out latly and stuff..there were major fights at our school plus a poweroutage, 2 kids had passed out and to top it all off a fire alarm went off and its only tuesday! so crazy stuff.. and on sat im haging out with my friend zach whos been going through a tough time..ryans being paranoid as normal and i got a hug from a guy i barly know. ive been worried to death over my christopher leaving for college and his brithday is tomorrow so i hope he likes his gifts...and i promised that i'd make him a cake altho my cooking could kill a person so hes going to help me...my grades need to be improved so im stress over that. i havent seen rin in a while which makes me sad but wat can u do? well theres not much more to say i have to get chris' stuff ready cuz i want tomorrow to be awsome for him...but i have work and its the last practice...which really sucks...but i'll figure something out..i have to teach solo too crap!!! ttyl!

my weekend report and the 5 day forecast

so my weekend was fun but crazy as normal
me and chris went to the mall and i got tripp pants!!!! and they go great with my toxic boy shirt! i've been debating on wearing it on monday cuz of the heat so it depends...then we saw Iron Man!!!! it was sooooo good! then i crashed. but i've heard some interseting news so im quite interested to see how this will play out but im going to just watch and not get involved which is not normal for me... but i may stir the pot a tick if i feel that some people need to be put in their place... any who...today i went with my mom to a 5 hour seminar for self defense which was fun but im super tired..plus i have to do laundry and call poor christopher. im excited for him cuz his 18th b-day is wednesday tho im not sure i can get off work..then his weird family is having birthday parties for like 5 people including him on mothers day..which is totally bizzar....well i g2g ttyl my peeps!

this will be short

so hello, im going to write about wat happened after my last post im going to a self defence class on suday from 12-5 so sry rin i forgot..um i talked with my mom and she made things better but i'd still like to get anothers girls opinion on it. things have just been so crazy im tired and i want to talk to chris so good night and this was more of an excuse to use an icon..ttyl

In Case You Missed It.....

well i've been grounded for like 3 days just about...so i'll update every one on whats been going on in my very boring life. first off is that we had sectionals..or not i lied i was grounded and very upset cuz i was freaking out and i wanted to see chris..so then sectionals comes around and me and sally were not clicking like we used to for our rotation. but we figured it out. so we beat geneva and then lost to linclon way central..then beat DeKalb but then lost to Nequa Valley..so we were super close but lost. but we have next year.. our first doubles team went to state tho so everyone was happy. but my bf and my partner were getting mad at each other again.. sally doesnt like chris always comming to "steal" me away but she yells at chris when she could be nicer...u see my problem? so i told chris that he has to wait for me to come to him cuz i have to focus on the games and told sally she can be nicer. since the seasons over it really doesnt matter any more. but me and chris were not happy with each other for awhile but now we're ok. i've been really upset lately... idk y. ryans been really pissing me off and chris and me have had no ttime together..plus i havent seen rin in for ever...so im just depressed and i hope to god ryan doesnt find out cuz i will punch him in the face if he tries to be my "psychologist" which wil just piss me off even more. he drives me crazy so much so lately that i dont even want to pretend he exists..cuz it upsets me so much. idk maybe its everything thats going on right now and the fact that my bf is leaveing and i dont want to be hurt so im trying to protect my self by trying to break away from him when really thats wats hurting me more....im an escapist..if i feel threatend then i do wat ever i can to get out of it...but i love christopher..and i wont let him go..not now not ever. see look at that by way of free association i've found out what my problem is and how to fix it..ha i dont need ryan...well i dont think im grounded now but im still not sure...but yea i think thats it..not much eles has happened...so i'll write later bye!!

WHAT THE FUCK?!?!

THIS TOTALLY BITES!!! I GOT FUCKING GROUNDED FOR A WEEK!!! A FUCKING WEEK!!! ALL CUZ MY 5 YEAR OLD SISTER LEFT HER SIHN GUARDS AT HOME WHEN SHE WAS GOING TO A SOCCER GAME!! SHE HAD THEM WITH HER BUT SHE FORGOT THEM AND I GET GROUNDED CUZ I WAS SUPPOSED TO GET HER READY! BUT SHE HAD THEM AND FORGOT THEM! SO I CANT GO TO CHRISTOPHER'S CONCERT WHICH I REALLY WANT TO GO TO CUZ I WONT GET TO SEE HIM VERY MUCH THIS WEEK..IM ALREADY STRESSED OUT ABOUT SECTIONALS AND I MISSED ALL MY CLASSES TO DAY SO NOW I HAVE MORE HOMEWORK PLUS TOMORROWS HOME WORK.....FFFFFFUUUUUCCCCKKKK!!!!........................i just.....want to see...my christopher....but no i cant even do that......im so sry baby..i really want to be there right now but i cant cuz my moms psycho....i love u and im so sry...im going to die here...i love u...ttyl

Wat an adventerous day!!!

so today i got to go to this really cool place for a feild trip. we went to a high ropes course!! it took us an hour to get there but it was worth it. then me and my group got to do the zip line first! it was really scarey getting up to the top but then i loved jumping down on the zip line!! it was so cool... then we did a rock climbing wall but i hate that so i didnt do it..then we went to the high ropes course and i climbed all over it was super fun and i had a great time tho i missed my teddy bear...i felt bad too...but then again i was driven insane cuz ryan would not leav eme alone and i wanted so badly to rip out his tounge and block his wind pipe with it....but wat ever i g2g ttyl!!

this post has no point...im serious...

i just want to use another icon so yea!!! and if u dont like it then fuck u!
~kitty
P.S. i cant stop laughing at this icon.....cuz L.O.T.R. rocks....(pun intended)

I would like to thank.....

so first off i have to say that i have the greatest boyfriend in the world. no other boy is like him and none of u can have him cuz hes mine! his b-day is comming up and i want to make this super special. im just not sure how..all i know is that he has to share his b-day with like 7 others which totally bites...his already threated like shit at home and now the one day that he has all to himself has to be shared with everyone eles...so baby what ever u want u'll get...on that day u and me are the only 2 people in the world and nothing will come btwn me and u...it will hopefully be ur best b-day ever...i love u baby....i want to spend the rest of my life with u...and i hope on thrusday that i reach ur hopes of me kicking ass...but dont expect too much. u never know how good we'll be ranked...im sry all this is happening around ur b-day and that ur kind of taking the back seat. but u know i love u and that it means so much to me that u'll be there. i hope u like ur surprise tomorrow....even if im not there...but come to practice my mom will be there to train me and sally...so it should be fun to watch...i hope i can get Rin there too...but she might be not as eager...but wat other life does she have??? *looks at Rin w/ critical eyes* not to be mean...well i g2g i cant wait to see u later!! i love u christopher...and theres nobody eles in the world who i want to love me more...ttyl

dandilions and scray geese....

well today was weird
i had to babysit all day..but it wsnt too bad. so first i wake up to my younger brother and sister saying they are going to church with our neighbors. i was like this is news to me. so i got them ready and sent them off... then i took a shower and got my homework done..then Rin came over!!! me and her took the kids to the park and we went crazy with dandilions!!! we decorated everything with them! there a chain link fence and a pole were not safe from our dandilions! then Rin decided to go up to a family of geese and nearly got eaten...twice... geese are scray when they have babies!!! this one charged at her and looked like the devil in feathers... then chris was flipping out cuz i didnt answer my phone so i had to put him in his place (just kidding) but we all better now...kinda...and Rin and me were talking and she knows im right, thats all im going to say... plus im going to talk to Brian...and u better be ready cuz hes going to talk to u...whether u like it..(wich i think u will :p) or not. i want u to be happy but u have to get over this weird fear of urs but for not u have me...which for this perticular problem is a blessing. well i g2g my audience and next time u see a family of pissy geese and dandilion frilled chain link fences u'll know marker fairie 1 and marker fairie 2 have been there...good night...

wats wrong w/ me?

hey to everyone...
i know most of u didnt read my other post yet but this is the day after and i must say i feel weird. i want my christopher here but im babysitting all day and he cant be over plus i was over at his house last night till 11:30 and my dad wont let me see him..i feel like the biggest shit head in the world cuz i was so tired last night i nearly fell over...i wanted to hold him and fall asleep in his arms but i couldnt seem to sleep at all..im sry baby for last night i was so tired that i fricken kept crying...(tired tears not wat ur thinking) i want u with me i want to be held by u...and not to say that i dont want erin over but shes not u...(sry rin) well i g2g ttyl k?

can u say confrence champs?

hey all my peeps!! (o wait i have no peeps....dam)
well to those of u who care *cough chris cough rin cough* we won confrence!! we smoked every dam team that played! me and sally took 1st in third doubles. and then i took 2nd in 5th singles. so over all it was a pretty good day. very productive. o and i had the best time last night with my wonderful bf friend, christopher, whos at work right now but will probably show up later cuz i want him too! i finally figured out how to get icons!!! i know 14 posts later and i just figure it out now..how stupid am i..anywho this icon is for u Rin i know u can relate...well we all can.. we've all been there. so dont worry and life goes on i know ur not ready to give up on him yet... and i know that in the deepest corner of ur heart that ur still wishing, screeming, and probably crying for this to work out...i've been there...maybe im wrong but idk. just know that im here for u when ever u need me and i can/will gladly beat the shit out of anyone who hurts u...u did great today at confrence. im sry that we were at different schools and i didnt get to see u play but im glad u did well... and for my christopher...baby u have no idea how much i love u and just wish we were together....my dad doesnt want u to come over tonight cuz he thinks i cant handle my self well...hes not an omalley so he has no idea wat im capable of...i love u baby and i miss u dearly. and i want u to know that no matter how many times i accidently fade out on u i never mean it..im just so empty headed...stupid stupid me..please dnt get mad at me or tease me about it cuz i cant seem to control it...it makes me feel like the biggest idiot sometimes and i feel terrible cuz i know it hurts u...but please forgive me...ur always there for me and i never want to leave ur side....reguardless of what ur or my parents say i will always love u and i want to stay with u for always..i know im a goof but u love me for me and theres no one i want more in this world...well i should go and convince me dad to let u come over...and rin i look foreward to our day tomorrow...u guys dont realize how much u mean to me...idk where i'd be w/out u....i 'll ttyl k?

p.s. just cuz the post is mushy doesnt mean i wont kill u if u make fun of me...im still a badass with a temper.....

life is just like a box of chocolates cuz when u think u have a really good flavor it turns out to be coconut...

well this is just great on a great day i feel like shit...i totally upset my best friend....i cant wear my fav shirt with strippy sleves...and im really tired and i have to go to school tomorrow..i really hate the fact that i hurt Erin...dam i never ment to..tho its really hard to hold bac ur love from ur soulmate in order not to upset ur best friend who just so happens to be in the middle of a bind. u know if stupid ryan hadnt messed things up rin and brian might have hit it off really well...way to go major dofuss welli g2g ttyl

i rock at badminton!

holy crap! me and my doubles partner are going to SECTIONALS!!!! AS JR.S!!!! holy crap..this totally rocks! we had to beat the doubles team that was below us! which was total bullshit cuz me and sally both played all season above them and we had to play them cuz they're senoirs and they need a chance to "shine" watever im just super syked (sp?) out. this is so cool. today was fun too cuz i got home at 10:30 ish and spent time with my bf, my sweetheart chris, and then had lunch w/ my mom and went to practice. kicked major ass...and then babysat for the neighbors which my sister took over just now so i could go to bed and do my hmwrk. but yea. and rin has a problem. she doesnt know wat she wants...ass-face or brian. i would say brian but she eally likes ass-face. the only thing really holding her bac is ryan...yea jerkface ryan.... so we'll have to work things out. but im sure she can handle it well i g2g my teddy bear's in distress and i need to go help him..im comming baby!!!
night!
~kitty

FUCK THE NONBELIEVERS!!!!

hello... its monday....on sunday i chopped my hair off. yep its all gone...no more..not there. and u know wat SCREW ALL U PEOPLE WHO DONT LIKE IT!!! i do and theres nothing u can do about it! its something new and fun and dangerous..(i dont know why its dangerous but it is!) plus its some much less work to do! which totally rocks..im going with RIn's opinion on this its my hair and nobody can dictate how i feel about it...excecpt maybe chris...but thats a different story. im independent and i am me so there! i g2g ttyl

MRC ROCKS!!!!!

HOLY CRAP!!! MCR ROCKS!!
we just went to the concert. well today is the day after..but last night fucking rocked!!!! first we had school then i went to half to practice (which was pointless) then me and christopher went to Rin's house to go to the concert. well ryan (who had been tweaking out about me getting there on time) was late. so we were on our way and we get there and we got in and right away we bought stuff. i got a shirt the said "MIKEY FUCKIN WAY" so i cant wear it in front of my parents. which really sucks cuz i love it. the we made our way to the front of the crowd and were pretty close to start off with. well soon this one band/ dude came on and he sucked! he was rapping at a rock concert!!! what an idiot. then the band Drive By came on and they were ok not great but better than the raper. then the real fun began and Billy Talent opened for MCR. i was flipping out on the inside i could not believe that i was going to see MCR in person!!! so we rocked out to Billy and then waited for the skeleton crew to perform. when they did THEY ROCKED!!! me Rin and Christopher pushed and shoved and nearly got trampeled by a whole bunch of mosh pits and the really big guys who started them. we go so close to the stage that we were three rows away from the bar!! i wanted to beat the shit out of the people who were there cuz i wanted a front row view of mikey and gerard. christopher was me body guard and didnt let me go the entire time. we were so packed in that i was being touched every where and i was so sweaty that my jeans stuck to my legs! it was so gross. but we had and awsome time. then this morning we went to a badminton toruney at DeKalb me and my partner, sally, took 4th place. so we kinda sucked. the team tho did really well we took 2nd place!! last year we took like 7th so we did really well...well im going to go and i'll blog later!

EWWW UR SICK!!!

yes im sick...i think i cought whatever my badminton coach had. which is nasty. cuz i cant breath or taste. i felt like shit this morning but im ok now. christopher kept trying to get me to go home but im stubborn as a mule and wouldnt go. i wanted to see him and play the game today! which we won. varsity crushed DeKalb 15-0 and i won my singles and doubles games. so we so far have only lost one meet which is totally awsome. we are first in confrence and very likly to win again this year. hopefully we'll send more down to state this year but u never know. im fine now but i feel a head ach comming on and im throat will kill tomorrow but im not worried cuz i'll still end up going to school and working. im no push over. tho i have to be careful cuz if i get really sick i cant miss the MCR concert on friday. then the PSAE is comming up and im freaking out over that even tho im going to COD and they dont really care about my scores. but i knew i could survive today cuz my wonderful boyfriend chris helped me feel better. i love him so much. well i g2g goodnight I.A. and Rin AND Chris!

yea im writing agian....haha...

so on to a lighter note. we had a meet today at WEST CHICAGO and we lost. most of the senoirs on varsity ditched. (its SR. ditch day) well coach wasnt too happy with that one and me and my partner sally go moved up to #1 doubles and i was # 2 singles. which freaked me out. i've never played that high before in my life. but i won!!! both games!!! me and sally split the doubles but i kicked ass in singles. my scores were 21-12, 21-9. which is super huge concerding i normally play #4 or 5. plus i was totally hyper today. and i meet leeland (i think thats how u spell it) he is this really tall kid at our school whos really nice and sweet. cheis knows him and i introduced my self to him which was cool. the rin to day was being all neh which nromally i am but todya she was moppey molly. and i was wondering if anything caused it. but rin walled her self up like a germaphobic thats just been told that 7 new virus' have just been discovered in his neighbor hood and they are all very deadly. but hopefully she'll trust me enough to tell me whats wrong. if there is anything i may be way off...who knows. well im tired and my throat hurts...my mom thinks i have mono. which is totally not true. cuz i havent done anything that would have me contract mono. ooo before i forget theres this really cool tee shirt of roy the toxic boy (my fav. Tim Burton character) and im going to get it no matter what it takes!! well good night to u all!!

the stressed out, wacked out, and utterly hopeless...

hello again my I.A. (Invisible Audience) i've been in a really tizzy lattly. u see my bf, my christopher only has a few months left before he gets to go to college. well as anyone old enough to know, knows that he's probably really stressed out him self and is freaking out over living on his onw for the first time. well thats y i hope he doesnt read this. cuz i;ve been having a hard time coping with it. i'm terrified about school shootings and shit like that for a while now. i know thats its very unlikly that it will happen but u never know. i dont want him to go either, i dont want to be left here alone. *smiles at the memory of him calling her cupcake* hes got a new nickname for me too. cupcake. its cuz of this teeshirt i got fro hot topic. it says muffins are just ugly cupcakes. and i got it cuz im a muffin. but he said im his cupcake and im terrified that he'll realize that im just a muffin and find a real cupcake while away at college. i know he loves me dearly but things happen. i dont want to let him go but i know i'll have to even if it is for a short while. christopher if ur reading this im sry if i worry u more. i dont mean to. i know i worry u enough cuz im always getting hurt some way or another. or im in trouble or theres drama im neck deep in. but dont worry about me. i'm still living (with a few scratches and scares to spare) im durable and i can pull through even with u not being here as much. tho i will admit it will be hard and i may loose my slef along the way but i know u'll be there to come get me back. ur my teddy bear. my love. my everything. an i will see u later....

The Day After.....

prom was AWSOME!!! the best prom i've ever been to (as of yet) me and chris had the time of our lives and i've never been so sweaty from dancing so much. last year we left early cuz it was awkward and not as fun cuz we didnt know anybody. but this year was a blast we danced for almost every song except like 3! we had friends there at our table who we danced with every now and then but mostly we were so engrossed in being with each other we went off to our own part of the dance floor. (which was super crowded) we took pics too which was fun...kinda cuz i hate pics..but o well...and then we went back to my place and i fell asleep in his arms before he had to go home....well today was fun...i slept in till 10:30 nobody was home untill 1:30. so i cleaned the bathrooms and watched Beowulf. then i went to chris' house till 10:00. i found out that my bf is a living miracle. he was born premature and with a whole bunch of health problems...i was so worried but im so glad i have him. hes my soul mate...i dont know wat i'd do with out him. i wil always remember this night as the night i knew my bf really loved me and was truly happy. that smile on his face and the look in his eyes were so breathtaking i knew i'd never want to see them not there any more. i want to keep him happy always, i want to be the one thats makes his eyes light up. i love him. i've had doubts before wondering if i was feeling the way i should but i do. there is nothing that can take him away from me. thats the boy im going to spend the rest of my life with and i dont care what the rest of u say..u dont understand...ur just my Invisible Audience who cant know how i feel and i dont think Rin does either. hopefully she will one day ...and stops mooning over ass-face and finds someones who really is worthy of her. (HINT HINT!!)but im happy and my christopher is the reason behind it. no one ever in a trillion years could ever make me feel the way he does. and i will love him till the day i die.

SAVE ME FROM PERGATORY!!!!!!!!

HOLY SHIT IM GOING CRAZY!!!! SOME PLEASE BREAK THIS SLIENCE!! i've been out of school since 10:15 and i havent done jack shit all fucking day!!!! my parents let my sisters friend come over and go out but i cant...i just was allowed to let Ryan over! i cant do anything with my christopher untill after work! and hes busy and cant talk to me at all....this is the one day i decide to not wear baggy clothes and look some what sexy and theres nobody here to be happy with that... plus my brother and sisiter are driving crazy and the only people i seem to be talking to are u Invisible Ones! and u wont even answer bac only Rin does that! shes probably out daydreaming about assface who was wearing really short shorts today which nearly made me vomit. and im still stuck here half crazy and lonely....well bye....

dam spring break is over....

so by reading my tittle of the blog u'll know im pissed to say that school is tomorrow...which really sucks. tho my break was good, i did a ton of stuff w/ my boyfriend and my best friend. accutally yestrday Rin and I went to the Milwakee (sp?) Bucks game. it was fun and we didnt root for the Bucks but we were cheering for Orlando Magic cuz nobody else was. we had no idea who they were so we game the Magic players new names!!! there was skippy, who was ur favorite cuz he kept skipping... then there was Knees who had black knee supports... and pippy who had really long socks...who eles...o yes there was check and slapper and bulk (who had ginormous feet) and i can t remember any one else but i know there was more. so im going to miss sleeping in late and not careing about what i have to wear but what ever summer will be here soon as wil prom and the MCR concert... well goodnight to all my Invisible Listeners and Rin...hope ur day has been fun
~kitty

shot suck!

well i survived....barely. my freaking arm hurts. that dam nurse used me as a dart board! the first shot was fine didnt hurt...but then the 2nd one hurt like fuck!!!! it felt like she took a step bac and used my arm as a dart board. i really disliked her....she is a bad darts player! and blind cuz im not a dart board!!! ..but anywho im excited cuz me and rin are going to WI!! and me and my wonderful boyfriend had a very fun day... we went to the mall to get his prom stuff and we ate lunch. then we hung out and palyed pool..darts (go figure)...and then i watched him play video games. which i made me fall asleep....and i felt bad but i was tired! not my fault....well im the gf and wat kind of gf likes to watch her bf play video games? well anywho but my day was ok not great but ok...well goodbye invisible audience untill next time..
~kitty

SPRING BREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

helllo (w/ 3 "L"s!)
so far spring break has been eh. not too great but not totally boring! i've had practice and have been hanging out w/ my boyfriend and best friend since day one. but what im not looking forward to is tomorrow 3/26/08... i have to get SHOTS!!!! *CRYS HYSTERICALLY* FOR STUPID HPV!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I HATE SHOTS. i know its not that bad but im one of thoes people who will start to hyperventalte in the waiting room..dont even get me started on getting in the room and waiting for the stupid nurse doctor person. what am i going to do!!!! neh!!!! shit i g2g ttyl
~kitty

hello!!!!

ha my first blog ever!! i know i sound lame but i dont get out much and i need some new activity to keep me from dying of bordom...so yea. all i can say is im excited cuz school gets out after tommorw and i have a varsity badminton game! thats right im on badminton...say one foul word and i'll hunt u down and smash a bridie in ur face! hows that for crule and unusual punishment?! badminton is a lot harder than it looks and some of the girls i've seen are beasts. so enough about badminton...what comming up on my agenda? THE MCR CONCERT!!!! i cant wait to go!! im just dying to fling myself in a mosh pit and get lost forever! that and my wonderful boyfriend chris (we just hit 1 year!) is taking me to prom!!! this is the 2nd time i'll be going but i'm still gonna have fun! well its late and i have to get up early tomorrow so goodnight people who are there but not really so its kinda like talking to myself.....BYE!