the stressed out, wacked out, and utterly hopeless...

hello again my I.A. (Invisible Audience) i've been in a really tizzy lattly. u see my bf, my christopher only has a few months left before he gets to go to college. well as anyone old enough to know, knows that he's probably really stressed out him self and is freaking out over living on his onw for the first time. well thats y i hope he doesnt read this. cuz i;ve been having a hard time coping with it. i'm terrified about school shootings and shit like that for a while now. i know thats its very unlikly that it will happen but u never know. i dont want him to go either, i dont want to be left here alone. *smiles at the memory of him calling her cupcake* hes got a new nickname for me too. cupcake. its cuz of this teeshirt i got fro hot topic. it says muffins are just ugly cupcakes. and i got it cuz im a muffin. but he said im his cupcake and im terrified that he'll realize that im just a muffin and find a real cupcake while away at college. i know he loves me dearly but things happen. i dont want to let him go but i know i'll have to even if it is for a short while. christopher if ur reading this im sry if i worry u more. i dont mean to. i know i worry u enough cuz im always getting hurt some way or another. or im in trouble or theres drama im neck deep in. but dont worry about me. i'm still living (with a few scratches and scares to spare) im durable and i can pull through even with u not being here as much. tho i will admit it will be hard and i may loose my slef along the way but i know u'll be there to come get me back. ur my teddy bear. my love. my everything. an i will see u later....