today was crazy and chaotic as usual which is good it keeps me focused on what i need to b doing... im so glad ive got work tomorrow... id go crazy at my house if i didnt. mom and i played badminton today which was fun... im a bit rusty tho i havent touched my raquet since ive started work. mayb even earlier... who knows... im so glad ive got my own room. why u ask well its simple really im a loner... and if uve been following this blog ull b thinking "wat? uve got friends and a boyfriend how can u b a loner?" i stay away from ppl as much as i can...i prefer to watch and observe then get in the middle of things... i hate being touched but when chris came into my life it was easy to learn to want hugs and kisses and little touches... but only from him everything thing else feels wrong and i dnt like it.... i know i sound crazy i want to be touched yet i dnt... well the title does say half demented right? most of the titles that look/ sound like that have either happened or describe how i feel. u figure out which is which. anyway bac to my room.. if i shared with my sister i think id go crazy enough to rip my ears off. shes good to talk to when u want to blab but otherwise she can b pushy and has an enerngizer bunny motor mouth. yeesh... blah blah blah blah blah all the time. and ppl wonder y im quiet. things at the house hav been strained. u can feel it... and yes theres a reason but i dnt feel like telling u cuz im trying to help the family cope, i deal with death in a different way... oops i guess i just kinda ruined it... o well thats the only clue u get.. whoevr the fuck u are. who evr reads these when im away.... who knows and who cares? i sure as hell dnt. so call me a bitter fuck... it wnt be anything new and i havent cared abt being nice in a long time. so it u were hoping i was gonna be miss sunshine and rainbows ur shit outta luck fuckers go to another blog im sure Little Miss Rin would take care of u and ur bloggers needs. me.... thats all i am and its all ill ever be.. dnt ask me to change cuz i sure as hell wnt do it for u and dnt push me cuz u wnt win.. evn if u think u hav i will still find a way to make life hell trust me.... i dnt take kindly to anything...so bac the fuck off... test me i dnt care a little anger helps me fight depression by giving me something to do... good bye for now...
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