im amazed at myself... for being so stupid.... for being so blind.... how could i not see? the one person im supposed to know like a book and ive overlooked a major detail. he will always be in my heart in fact hes too big a piece of my heart that if i shut him out i dnt think id be a person. but how do u handle such blind ignorance for so long a time? with out wanting to hate.. and hate deeply? whoevr is reading this im not going to bother telling u whats wrong... its my life and i dnt want any one in it... except maybe... him.... but what if its true? can i hold him? can i keep him loving me? my mind tells me to trust him... yet im helpless as to wat to do for him... god i want him home... hes mine and he says he loves me but how? thats wat i dnt understand... can a pseron b both? can they be more of one and not the other? this will always haunt me... tho i want to ignore it like mad... make it go away make him love me the way i thought he did.... its like being in the twilight zone and im a member of the blind, hopeful, and utterly helpless...
1 comment:
hey... i know your at work and what not, but here i am. i'm sorry for causing all of this sht. i really am. i took a past memory and hurt you... i'm so sorry. it was two years ago... it stopped when i found you, and it was a dark, disturbing and really personal secret i shared... and i feel like shit... please... i love you... so much. i want to be home. i want to prove to you that i'm not who your afraid i might be, but to show you that i am who you remember! please oh please! trust me... please... i love you so much, and hope you will still love me.
Post a Comment